wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
