You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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