Three words: puerto rican gang bang
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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