Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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