I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Porn is love you can see.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
