Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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