I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
