Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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