Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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