how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
