Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
