maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
