just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
