i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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