piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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