We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
