I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
