hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
