I think I am morally bankrupt
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
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