i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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