I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
