I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I can't turn off my feet"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
