btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
