OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize
