had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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