we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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