am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
