Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
And then the night went full on bisexual.
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