Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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