apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
