the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
