He is an equal opportunity slut.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Can you bring me the toilet please
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
