yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
it was like eating out sand paper
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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