It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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