I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
