He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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