Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
