WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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