Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
