just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
