You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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