He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
