My room smells like vodka and shame
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
And then he peed in my hair
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