Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
