Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
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