you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
