I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
"it" just moved
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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