Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
