If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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