Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
