dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
