i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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