I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
