i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
