I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Someone shit on the floor
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
