Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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