So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
