gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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