How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize
