Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
